Posted by: seekingacademia | September 25, 2010

Still around

So hi there to anyone still reading. Here’s a quick update on the life of Justme.

Fieldwork this summer was awesome! Finalized dissertation topic, yay!

LDBF visited me in fieldwork country and we went to homecountry and it was amazing.

We got engaged.

I am super happy.

Now about this whole wedding business, and it is a business. What the heck? Why is it so hard? We care more about the liturgy and the food than anything else, but everything is so freakin’ expensive! Because here’s the deal. We are not doing an American wedding, we are doing a HomeCountry wedding. Which is more reasonable in home country, but expensive here. The place you eat at, a restaurant, takes care of everything. Decor, menu printing, music, all that crap.

So I went onto the knot website to look for potential places, as we’re not doing the wedding here in Grad School City. And you have to register. Ok fine, fake name and done. But geez louise. There are forums about everything.

I do not care about table runners. Personalized napkins. Flip flop baskets. flip flop baskets, people! Who cares?! Framed table numbers. Card holders. Something blue. Chargers. Chair covers. Chair sashes. I mean come. on.

So clearly I am not a typical knot bride. And I don’t want to pay one year’s worth of college tuition (back when I went) for a wedding. Yet I am not crafty. I am in no way a DIY-er. I read regretsy for pete’s sake. How in the heck is one supposed to do all this crap? I just want to find normally priced HomeCountry things, fabulous and lots of food — none of this choose your entrée when you RSVP — and get married in the Church.

I am grateful for LDBH, who I’ll now refer to as FH, b/c I *hate* the word fiancée, as he is totally involved and we are doing things all Catholic and HomeCountry like. And we both care about liturgy and food the most. And I thank God for him and for bringing us together.

But this wedding business of you have to invite this person if you invite that person and what are your colors — I have no colors! — I could do without.

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Responses

  1. Congratulations, JustMe! I’m so happy for you!

    As far as wedding planning advice – as a neurotic planner in general – I’d understand what you and FH want and are willing to pay, pick 3 places you really like online and call each of them. See who comes closest and content and price and call it a day – I think many make things too complicated with 25 different choices. I find if I know what I want and can communicate that clearly, vendors have a better chance of making me happy.

    (Though I’ve obviously not planned a wedding, I have done various events for work.) 🙂

    • Thank you, Katie! That is helpful, having a limit on how many to look at before deciding. it really is overwhelming with so many choices!

  2. Congrats! That is wonderful news. I totally agree about the whole business of weddings business. So not for me.

    • Thank you, Brigindo!!

  3. thank you, you are too sweet!!

    and katie, that is helpful info, the plethora of options ARE overwhelming…

  4. Cheers to the both of you!!!!

    When Husband and I got married, our families went nuts with the whole wedding thing. It was so not us. We would have been happy with a quiet ceremony on a beach, just the two of us and immediate family. Then, have a huge party, like a picnic for a reception.

    Don’t fall for all wedding-bridezilla stuff. Do what makes the both of you happy.

    • thanks, ss! yah, i wish certain ppl, ie sibling, would realize what we care about and don’t, b/c we are NOT going nuts!

  5. Awww! Congratulations! 🙂

    • Thanks comebacknikki!!

  6. Congrats! I’m so excited for you.

    • thanks, jo(e)!! we should try meeting again at some point…

  7. Congrats!

    Don’t let the planning get to you. There are so many “shoulds,” and when I got married, it pissed me off. So I let other folks decide for me–which was easy because I was getting married in my parents’ backyard, 400 miles away. Actual questions and answers:

    Mom: What kind of flowers do you want?
    Me: Pretty ones. Cheap ones.

    Aunt: What do you want to eat?
    Me: Good food. Have a veggie entree available.

    Sister: What are the colors for your wedding? I need to know what color dress to buy as a bridesmaid.
    Me: Buy a dress. That will be the color of the wedding.

    Mom: We tasted a good wedding cake today. Should we get it?
    Me: Is there chocolate in it?
    Mom: Yes.
    Me: Get it!

    We didn’t worry about favors for guests or too much frou-frou. We just wanted to throw a good party, which meant a short ceremony, good food, a decent DJ, and sufficient booze.

    • omg Leslie, yes, that is exactly what I want! Pretty flowers, yummy food, tasty cake! and i could care less about decor and colors and other stuff.


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