Posted by: seekingacademia | June 15, 2009

Another one bites the dust

Hmm, perhaps blogging about boys is the kiss of death? I might believe that if I believed in luck and curses and all that crap.

So, Gin and I broke up. Or rather, he broke up with me. Apparently guys are great with me, things get serious, and then they freak.

Problem? The health issues. Again. Alright, thanks for not making me feel defective or anything.

I clicked so much better with Gin than with the Boy. I wondered about religion being an issue, but figured why worry about that now, it’s only been three months. Gin is a very rational person, like descions are made very systematically. He didn’t want to break up with me, but the evidence pointed to that being the necessary action to avoid a future painful breakup. He still like me and will miss me, he can’t bring himself to delete my messages on his machine b/c he loves my voice.

He recognizes he is being selfish, he had to sacrifice so much in his last serious realtionship, he is scared of having to do that again and he knows it sucks for him to say these things (re: my health issues) b/c imagine how I (JustMe) must be feeling.

So, sadness again. I am in an every six months lets get our heart stomped on program and I don’t remeber signing up for it. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier (as if I had any control over this) if I had gotten my health issues once I was already married. B/c then wouldn’t the husband have to deal with, or I guess, be more able to deal with it? B/c he would have been part of the process. Knowing my luck he would have found out and run. It’s so much easier to be like, well this will be hard, is it worth it to keep dating? I guess people tend to assume things will be good and easy and are shocked when it’s hard? I just know that there will be many trials in life. And I guess it is better to know now then years down the road. But that doesn’t make it suck any less. Yep, in fact it sucks a shitload.

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Responses

  1. I am so sorry. What is wrong with the boys? And the are boys because a real man would accept you as you are.

  2. Definitely boys. I don’t know where the men are hiding these days but you certainly deserve one rather than these shallow spineless little boys who run away instead of considering the possibilities of a mature relationship with a great girl. So sorry, seekingacademia.

  3. Unfortunately, there is no guarantee that guys stick with you once you’re married, but hopefully they do!

    I am so sorry that you keep having these intense relationships with guys who can’t handle the complexities of life with you. I think you’re correct in that there is always going to be difficult parts about life in relationship with other people.

  4. Thanks, all. I think you’re all right… trying not to think about it…

  5. Oh, that really sucks. I’m so sorry. 😦

  6. 😦

  7. 😦

    That really sucks. I think you were right not to worry about the religion issue. and I agree with the rest that this is not a man or at least it’s not acting like a man. This is childish behavior. And very selfish.

  8. can i just say i love you guys?! thank you 🙂
    i have so much on my mind with the parents, etc right now that it is easy to keep my mind off of him (though it is harder around now, at nighttime) but i think i will be ok. it will be ok. that doesn’t mean i don’t miss him, i am just moving on.


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