Posted by: seekingacademia | April 3, 2009

Because updating you on my dates is more fun than reading

So, I went out with Nick. Totally not feeling it. I think it’s the lack of intellectual conversation that is my biggest turn off. Also, he is not a strong Christian. Which is funny, b/c my impressions on that are totally off. I assumed b/c Nick went to church he was more in tune with his faith than Gin, who hasn’t been to church in a while. Nick has actually never read the Bible. Not even parts/sections. I was kind of taken aback by that. Not that I want to date a theologian or something, but I guess why I was taken aback was that it was not what I expected. Plus, he is really into the Shack. Oh my, if you want to know more about that very problematic book, Anastasia has lots to say (yah, no direct links, sorry, I’m too lazy). So I’m not attracted to him. There’s no intellectual conversation or stimulation. So we went for coffee, and I was ready, in my mind at least, to say I think we should just be friends. But there was never a moment to say it, that felt right. At the end, we shook hands, I mean I was trying to give my I’m not interested vibe, but I’m not sure. Then he said for me to call him. I paused, of course this was on the street as I was trying to get to class. And part of me was like, ugh, just say it now! But I chickened out. He said he would call me later, and I said ok. Man do I suck. So he called me yesterday while I was in class, and I didn’t return his call. He saw me on chat today and I said hi, I said I was busy, and he said he would call me later. Thing is, I have plans with my ladies tonight. So I probably won’t answer if he calls then. But I should call him and tell him. It just yah, sucks, I mean didn’t he get it?

Anyway, onto more fun topics. Gin! I went out again with him last weekend. We had dinner, then went to a coffeehouse, then it closed and we went to a bar. We did a lot of talking. Then he drove me home. That was a big step for me b/c til then I had just met him places. He is really sweet. I am totally attracted to him. I want to know more about his religious thoughts. But part of me is like, maybe I shouldn’t like him. He doesn’t have the live faith that I desire to have in a serious relationship. And Bee and Cheeky tell me that you’re just getting to know him, and it’s normal, and etc. And while that is the case, they are not Christian and so I don’t think  they totally understand that aspect of me and my desire. Ultimately, I want to be with someone that I can worship with, someone I can pray with, someone I can pray for, someone who will want to pray for me, someone I can pray about our children with, you know? But at the same time, I do not want someone who is close-minded, anti-feminist, I want someone who can challenge and stimulate me intellectually and emotionally, someone I can joke with and laugh with, someone I can talk with. Why does it seem that those things need to be mutually exclusive? And i know its probably still too early to tell with Gin, and I should not think of these things. But I can’t help it, I do. I know I have nothing to worry about. Yet I worry and think.

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Responses

  1. Hadn’t seen you in a while and had you on my mind! Good luck with the dating.

    • hi elle! thanks and i’ll keep you all posted… hope you are doing well!


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