Hmm, perhaps blogging about boys is the kiss of death? I might believe that if I believed in luck and curses and all that crap.
So, Gin and I broke up. Or rather, he broke up with me. Apparently guys are great with me, things get serious, and then they freak.
Problem? The health issues. Again. Alright, thanks for not making me feel defective or anything.
I clicked so much better with Gin than with the Boy. I wondered about religion being an issue, but figured why worry about that now, it’s only been three months. Gin is a very rational person, like descions are made very systematically. He didn’t want to break up with me, but the evidence pointed to that being the necessary action to avoid a future painful breakup. He still like me and will miss me, he can’t bring himself to delete my messages on his machine b/c he loves my voice.
He recognizes he is being selfish, he had to sacrifice so much in his last serious realtionship, he is scared of having to do that again and he knows it sucks for him to say these things (re: my health issues) b/c imagine how I (JustMe) must be feeling.
So, sadness again. I am in an every six months lets get our heart stomped on program and I don’t remeber signing up for it. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier (as if I had any control over this) if I had gotten my health issues once I was already married. B/c then wouldn’t the husband have to deal with, or I guess, be more able to deal with it? B/c he would have been part of the process. Knowing my luck he would have found out and run. It’s so much easier to be like, well this will be hard, is it worth it to keep dating? I guess people tend to assume things will be good and easy and are shocked when it’s hard? I just know that there will be many trials in life. And I guess it is better to know now then years down the road. But that doesn’t make it suck any less. Yep, in fact it sucks a shitload.